He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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