you win again, gameday.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
