It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
