actually, I'm a sock model
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
