I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Watching her eat just hurts me
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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