For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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