If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
