I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
