Christians are straight up FREAKS
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
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