On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
