you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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