He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Randomize
