if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
