The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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