Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
