Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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