he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
