The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
