it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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