he shaved USA in his pubs
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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