Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
