I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
