he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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