Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force. http://tfl.nu/y0by
  Replies (44) Good night (3452) Bad night (1737) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses. http://tfl.nu/c9p5
  Replies (30) Good night (3799) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical. http://tfl.nu/d9c8
  Replies (29) Good night (11038) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking. http://tfl.nu/ilmx
  Replies (110) Good night (50613) Bad night (1665) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this http://tfl.nu/4kx4
  Replies (16) Good night (4968) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was! http://tfl.nu/nt2c
  Replies (13) Good night (8569) Bad night (1232) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (226): I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth. http://tfl.nu/6j12
  Replies (20) Good night (4538) Bad night (1486) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other. http://tfl.nu/yacp
  Replies (2) Good night (2725) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster. http://tfl.nu/nbxn
  Replies (9) Good night (732) Bad night (3154) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears. http://tfl.nu/n3l2
  Replies (7) Good night (907) Bad night (2640) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep http://tfl.nu/b11i
  Replies (8) Good night (1797) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow. (1-617): I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right? http://tfl.nu/ithm
  Replies (4) Good night (2961) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex. http://tfl.nu/x3q5
  Replies (13) Good night (878) Bad night (1241) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine. http://tfl.nu/qt1j
  Replies (12) Good night (2431) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget. http://tfl.nu/97ka
  Replies (7) Good night (1403) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt

Randomize