he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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