Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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