If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
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this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
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im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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