And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
