he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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