His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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