i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
