Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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