Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
