You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
