So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
