I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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