Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
tell me about the eggs
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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