Ambien. No doubt about it.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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