Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
