After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
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