is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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