bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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