oh god the rape fog is back!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize