Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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