I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
