He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize