Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Randomize
