32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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