Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
