Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
