The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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