Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize