then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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