South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
