FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
