Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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