The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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