easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
