Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
